That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize