Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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