I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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