you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize