And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize