You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
