Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
