She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
