He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
