Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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