Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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