I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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