I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
