I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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