Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
