I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
