I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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