Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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