Ambien. No doubt about it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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