Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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