It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I know her cup size but not her name....
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