only if we run a train.
done.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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