Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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