I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
