i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize