i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
