I just threw up on my dentist
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
