Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
