Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
