so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
