She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
