her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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