SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just googled if crying burns calories
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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