Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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