I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
