my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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