i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
