Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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