Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
