worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
