My nipple is on Facebook.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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