Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This baby is an asshole
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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