I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
its liver damage thursday
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
