I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
