he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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