"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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