the condom got lost in my hair
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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