But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
