I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
