You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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