I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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