I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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