i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
