yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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