I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
