you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
