we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this boner is exhausting
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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