Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This house was built for laser tag.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
