You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
