Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
