oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Everyone says I win the strip club
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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